AGE AINT NOTHING BUT A NUMBER
Black Unicorn =males btw 23-28 yrs old
Black Widow= females btw 23-28 yrs old
Now, the first thing that you must understand is that Black Unicorn is a very rare species. Percentage wise there are not a plethora of college educated black men that are focused, have a financially stable career, no kids and no record. This is a BIG part of the reason that the Black Widow has such a difficult time finding the “man of her dreams”. Next, you must understand that the Black Widow in this sense is not meant to have a negative connotation. She is actually a very mentally strong being who is capable of being independent. Now, back to the scenario.
Of course a relationship that starts in college has the potential to last but the fact of the matter is MOST do not. Generally speaking this is due to the fact that men don’t come to college with the mindset of “I have to find my wife while I’m in school.” If it happens that’s cool but that isn’t our main objective. Then once faced with the real world after graduation males really begin to focus on a career while some women (Not All), because of the approaching age of 25 and up begin to think about a family.
BLACK WIDOW is trying to chase her career down but is equally as focused on locking down a potential husband because a good man is hard to find. This mentality puts the Black Widow into a panic because they don’t want to be the lonely old lady with the cats. Not to mention an ever-ticking biological time clock.
She has been told from a young age that she needs to find herself a good man, have this immaculate wedding and to do it all before it is too late. But too late is never clearly defined, and at what cost? Her lowering her standard and going with the SAFE GUY? (the safe guy will be defined in part 3) or her constantly pressuring her boyfriend to commit to her long term?
The Black Widow is in search of that career but also that suitable husband and father of her children as well as financial stability. Other logical necessities fall to the waist side to the pursuit of a lifetime partner. Many times in this sort of desperate battle she settles for any man that appears to want to be seriously committed. With this blind pursuit to a dream that may or may not happen she often finds herself single, lonely because men her age PLAY GAMES. This female often looks to date older men who “know what they want”.
She is constantly feeling the pressure of friends getting engaged having children and from the looks of it having a great relationship with their prospective partners. She too wants this life. Many of the time the Black widow is envious of someone else’s misery:
- The woman with the child before the wedding?
- The friend who is engaged but the fiancé doesn’t have a job or education, and who may not be faithful?
- Or the girl who has been in the same relationship since high school living with her boyfriend but is no where near getting married?
- The Black widow does not take into account that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
BLACK UNICORN gets into the real world and start to focus on his career by obtaining a stable job. Then starts to try and get into a better financial state all the while chasing other dreams. Getting his credit score higher and paying off debt are some of his short-term goals while every thing else, even women fall lower and lower on his priority list. Men have no ticking biological time clock.
He is constantly reminded by his parents to take his time in choosing a woman because women will always be there, but a great career opportunity wont. Like my father always said “you will lose a lot of money chasing women, but you wont lose women chasing money”. With the priority of a serious relationship becoming less and less important this man finds himself wanting to have fun, live life.
When it comes to a successful relationship, timing is EVERYTHING. I think Hill Harper said it best when he said, “Look for the potential in your future partner.” Now by all means I’m sure he does not mean women need to be waiting around forever for Mr. Right to get Right, but just understand that maybe he is preparing himself (in more ways than one) to make that next step in life. The Black Unicorn can never take the Black Widow serious until he is at a solid financial state; this may happen sooner than later depending on his financial aptitude. If you are a Black Widow who is strong enough to give a man this time to grow and not cause drama, not pressure him to settle down not pressure for a ring and actually contribute to him being a better person and financially then you may have the GOLDEN TICKET under the candy bar and be rewarded with a ring.
To Be Continued…