Just A Friend
What do you do when you’re chillin’ watching tv with your lady, you’re on one couch and she’s on the other when you hear that infamous iPhone incoming text tone and you know it’s not your phone because you still own a wackberry… all of a sudden she is giggling and grinning looking at her incoming text. Thinking its something innocent you decide to ask, “What’s so funny?” Her reply is, “Oh nothing, it’s just my friend James, you know the one I had told you about…” You might smile for the moment but you will probably be thinking about it for the rest of that evening. The “just a friend” dilemma is one that has been debated for years and with good reason.
So, should you have a close friend of the opposite sex once you get in a serious relationship? In almost all cases I would have to say no. I figured I would play ‘Devil’s Advocate’ on this post but honestly I can only think of a few situations where an opposite-sex friend won’t create an unfavorable situation for the spouse.
Communication is always key when it comes to situations like this. But even then you have to be strategic about the way you handle it. The reason most guys are not comfortable with their girl having an opposite-sex friend is because they themselves would probably abuse a similar relationship if the tables were turned. And the reason most women don’t want their man to have an opposite-sex friend is because they don’t trust these hoes!
Now we can talk about having trust in a relationship and all that good stuff, but the reality is almost everyone gets insecure from time to time. I’m not talking about the overly jealous people but a good boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife should do what they can to not give the significant other a reason to question their integrity. If you are close friends with someone from the opposite sex you need to disclose that info from the beginning of the relationship. Don’t just pop up one day after yall have been dating for a year and say something like “My friend James is in town and wants to know if it’s cool to take me to lunch today?” HELL NAHH!
Personally when it comes to a serious relationship that “Just a friend” ish is some BS. If I was married my wife would not need “close guy friends” and I don’t need “close girl friends”. I just think it’s kind of inappropriate especially if you don’t know the nature of the relationship. I’m not saying completely cut your friends off but he/she should understand the boundaries that come with a relationship and be cool with that. Now that ya’ll know how I feel about the topic I wanna know your feelings on it. What are yall thoughts on the “just a friend” issue?