Jungle Fever
Listen: F**k Your Ethnicity
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I’ve been staring at this blank page for a minute now thinking how I can expound on this “Interracial Dating” topic. It’s just been frustrating me even more trying to put my feelings into words concerning this matter. For years I have taken so much criticism for dating a Caucasian female or rocking with any other race other than Black. I’m not necessarily pointing all the blame at black females, but that’s where 100% of the blame has come from. I’m tired of the mad black woman antics. Get over it!! Please help me to understand how you can get upset that a black man chooses a white woman over you. Race, often has nothing to do with it. Some females have slandered the hell out of me for it. I remember specifically a black chick at “T” inbox me on Facebook stating, ”How are you going to date a white chick and you go to a black university?” I was in a state of awe. Did someone really have the guts to send me a message like that? I didn’t even know who she was until I saw her in class. I gave her the smooth “side eye.” What made it worse is that she was ugly.
If I were a professional athlete I don’t think I would hear a word from the critics. There are numerous celebs that are in interracial relationships. Do you hear anything about that….I’ll wait….yeah didn’t think so! Nowhere in the tabloids do you here about Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose being slandered because of their “interracial” relationship. Just because someone has a nice bank account that shuts the haters up, but for an ordinary guy like myself I gotta hear that bullshit? True. Stop complaining!! I know I might sound harsh, but I think all this bitterness is “soft toe Reeboks.” Some of you women don’t take too kindly that men point and call you out for being gold diggers. No, It’s not the same thing, but you have a preference in who or what type you chose just like men have a preference in what ethnicity or type of female they chose to explore.
The sad thing about this is that the reasons a black woman might object to an interracial relationship are wholly different from the reasons a white woman might. Black women worry how the black community will be affected overall if, the most successful black men find themselves with white women again and again. They worry about the effect interracial relationships have on low marriage rates in the black community. In contrast, when I encounter black woman who cop an attitude upon discovering that my girl and I are an item, their hostility comes from a very different place, a place of superiority. They attempt to look me up and down when they think I won’t notice. Others have just been aloof or exhibited general bitchassness when I try to make conversation with them. I know that if I am having such experiences other black men involved with non-black women are as well. Yet, black women continue to bear the onus for the hostility that black-white interracial couples face.
To be continued…
-Zeke
Interracial dating doesn’t bother me in any way…never has, never will. I do hate when people date outside of their race for the wrong reasons…such as “oh this race of men/women is better, so I’ma cross to the other side” type shyt. Genuine interest, attraction, and love, however, I am for…no matter which race a person finds all of that with. People need to stop focusing on trivial things, and also look at themselves to see how they can make themselves a better woman/man in order to find a mate…skin color can’t solve personality issues.
I hate when I hear a female say a man has betrayed his race by dating a woman of another ethnicity. So would he have been a better man if he chose YOU instead of her? I’m suprised a Marvin’s Room hasn’t been remixed to be applied to these situations.
My brother’s father is from Venezuela. Does that make my mother less of a woman???
On the other side of the spectrum, my brother recieved a lot of criticism from females saying he should stay true to his African American “queens”. Dumb broads didn’t even know he was mixed. So who is his loyalty towards?
I disagree with the fact that men in the spotlight do not receive a backlash. I remember when everyone found out Taye Diggs wife was not black. They questioned his manhood, said he wasn’t black enough, all because of the person he fell in love with.
I dont believe love sees a color.
I do believe people have preference.
Do I see myself dating outside of my race? No. Am I against it? Not at all.
Sometimes you find happiness where you least expect it.
Playing devils advocate, I have seen guys criticize when they see an attractive woman with a man from another race. As if, only unattractive women can go to another race.
Lol @ the last paragraph of your comment Dominique. One of my coworkers who is white told me that a few weeks ago he went to a happy hour here in DC with a college friend, who happens to be an african american female. He said that the minute he walked in with her, a few of the african american males gave him the “stare of death” as he so eloquently put it lol. So yes, it does happen sometimes from both perspectives.
Great article bro. I think that in today’s age, people need to find partners who will make them happy, regardless of race. Whats ironic is that many single black women who claim to not be able to find a good man seldom look outside their race, which could be a solution to the problem. I know some black women who wouldnt even give a white guy a chance..even if they had a good job, were going places with themselves, and respected them. Though it is 2011, unfortunately many people still see things as a “black and white” issue.
I think you make an interesting point about how the criticism is less when it comes to interracial dating and celebrities. I don’t have a problem with interracial dating. I have dated outside of my race on more than one occasion because the person was cool and we just happened to click. I have a problem when I hear black men say things like “I prefer to date a white woman because their attitudes are better than black womens’ attitudes,” or other silly things of that nature. They are choosing to date particular type of women based off of a generalization. But at the end of the day there will always be critics. Do you Zeek!
While I do think hostility towards people in interracial relationships exists, I don’t believe black women should to blame for it. The same black women that give you salty looks when you’re with a white woman would give the same looks if you were with one of their own. It’s not breaking news that “different” makes people uncomfortable. Sadly, dating interracially is still considered uncommon, unconventional, and unacceptable. The negativity comes from a lot of different places though; families, colleagues, religious groups, community, etc. No one group can be to blame for society’s inability to look past race and see individuals. With that said, the only thing left to do is be happy with whomever you choose. If we consider race a little less each day, we’ll weaken those barriers bit by bit.
I’d personally like to take responsibility for coining the phrase “soft-toe Reeboks” lol. That is all!!!
Also we can never expect to be held to the same standards as celebrities. Look at how many of them have children out of wedlock. If the average person does that we get the side eye, but we all think it’s cute when celebs do it lol. It’s just not the same!
I’m with you.
I don’t see any reason why black women get upset about a black man and a white woman dating. I know all the reasons that black women say, “why won’t he give a black woman a chance?” Who gives a shit? I don’t. If he wants to date her for whatever reason, let him in peace. You’re not missing out more than you would if he were dating a black woman. I’m always dissappointed whenever I see someone who is my steeze and is already taken, doesn’t matter by who, I can’t date him!
I will tell you what I get mad over. I mean…this really really grinds my gears.
I’ll set the stage: I’m out with one of my friends and we’re sitting at a restaurant, window seats. I see a fine FINE man walking pass, looking all delicious and focused. He is walking in the restaurant. Yes! My chance to give him the eye hoping he’ll catch on and slip me his number or somthing but before I can blink; he walks slam pass me and walks up to the bar where he devours the face of this joint I was previously looking at, trying to figure out why she decided to not put a hat on her 5-year-old tracks and thinking that if she just put on some jeans that fit, maybe that muffin top wouldn’t potrude so effortlessly. #sigh The bum joints are winning…
What are the bum joints doing for ya’ll? smh…
So, in conclusion…the war should not be waged on whether the limited amount of successful black men are dating the white woman. If she bad…I don’t care. It’s these bum joints you need to watch for!
I’m just playing ya’ll. In all seriousness, you love who you love. You’re attracted and choose who you want. I think sometimes we get so use to feeling not enough that we attack and speak out about those things we feel are owed to us. Black men and no man is owed to you or owes you anything. You earn your right in someone’s life. You would be offended if you asked a black man that you were dating, “Why did you ask me out?” and his answer was, “Oh, it’s because you’re black and I felt like I should give you a chance.”
-DK
As a black woman I have never judged anyone that chose to be in an interracial relationship. I have had experience with dating outside of my race, and at the time that’s who I was happy with. Black women need to stop looking down upon black men for stepping outside of their race to find a partner. Instead we should be looking at what we can improve on to become a more ideal mate. Don’t forget that more and more black women have now chosen to date outside of their race as well.
I do agree with the first post where she says, “oh this race of men/women is better…” that’s only adding fuel to the fire. You have to understand that some black women find interracial dating offensive because they were taught to stay within their race, and with some of their families this stems back to slavery. Not everyone was taught to love and appreciate the value of a person, rather than the color of their skin.
My father has consecutively dated a white woman for the past 15 years. I have never once had an issue with her because she always had respect for me and my family. I got to know her for who she was and I did not judge her. In this day and age where minorities are becoming the majority, we as a people need to do a better job at keeping an open mind.
Black women will always get the first nod in my book. Not the only nod though. When I see a black guy with a white girl I automatcally assume that he must of grown up around white people, went to a white school and had white friends almost autoatic token black guy status.
I grew up in Philly, in a black neighbor hood, never had a conversation with a white girl until i went to a private school for 10-12th grade. I was the black guy white chicks were scared of clutch thier purses, crossing the street, etc and in elemetary school got put in time out for cuz they lied on me!.lol I just cant truly see myself ever dating a Becky. Maybe another Minority becuz at least we will have some deep rooted things in common. I always feel like ima end up in jail Guilty without a trial style if i ever get into any type of confrontation with a white girl
Most times i do see a black guy with a white girl its a sore sight. Meaning dude is walking hand and hand with the OLD Ricky Lake, FAT WHITE GIRL, the one the White Guys didnt want, and the Black dude is holding her up like she the STANLEY CUP??? if you are gona step out to a Becky Please let it be a BAD ONE, Job, Looks, and Personality. That all i ask.
Hmmm I had to think about what I was going to write before I entered upon this discussion. Im biracial myself my mother is black, my biological father is italian. Ive always dated within and outside of my race. I like people never looked at the skin color nor have I cared what others or my family thought about the person I was dating as far as the color of their skin was concerned if I like you I like you. I feel thats how it should be. I know men who WONT date black women just because they wont and will ONLY date white women, or spanish women now that I feel is wrong because you could be missing out on some cool people because your seeing color not whats inside of the person and who they are and what they bring to the table. People always tend to look at whats on the outside before anything else its human nature. Although my mother is black im a light skin chick with curly hair and semi tan skin. People always think im spanish and I catch so much slack from black females allllllll the time when I with a black guy. They “assume” im not black and that heres this black guy dating another spanish chick when in reality im half black and was raised by a single BLACK mother and my entire black family so its who I identify with but thats not what society sees. Theres nothing wrong with dating outside of your race and I say this to everybody not just black people but it always seems to be the black community who has a huge problem with it.
I’ll say what has been already been said, “I am not against interracial relationships”. I am against Black men having a certain perception of Black women as if we are the least desirable of women. Sometimes I feel, as a Black woman, that we are deemed the last on the totem pole–that we are celebrated for “ain’t no woman like a Black woman”, but Black women don’t want such a woman that LOOKS like a Black woman, that IS a Black woman–as if we’re not good enough, pretty enough, refined enough. I do have a problem with Black men seemingly having a preference for women who may even be of color, but look like their “mixed with something”. I do have a problem with that. …I would be lying if I said the thought of “Why her?” doesn’t come to mind when I see a Black man with a White woman. (Only White, I’m not too much taken aback by Black men with Latina, Asian, or whathaveyou.) I would be lying if I said, “It doesn’t sting a bit.” Jill scott wrote a controversial article (http://www.essence.com/2010/03/26/commentary-jill-scott-talks-interracial/) about this & when she spoke of her spirit wincing I knew EXACTLY what she meant. I don’t know. I guess it’s just a subconscious reaction to a history that is just as much a part of our present experience as it was our past history.
Interracial dating is definitely still a heated debate that gets some folks riled up. I personally could care less who you are stickin it, lickin it, or taking home to mama but you’re right that isn’t the case for all black women. Like it has been stated before, my problem isn’t you that your dating the a white woman, it’s when tell me that you’re dating a white woman because “she’s not crazy like black women/she acts more civilized/etc…” That’s like me saying I’m dating a white man because “black men aint shit”.
My uncle married a white woman, and is very happy. I will say though when I was younger and first met her, I was confused but everyone else seemed fined with, so I didn’t have a problem with it. Most issues some black women have with interracial dating comes from their family and how they were raised. Some women grew up hearing “you better only bring home a black man” or heard there mamas tell there brothers “Don’t bring home no white woman in this house”. I personally did not have this issue but I know plenty of folks who heard these similar things. It’s not excusing them from their behavior and how they act towards interracial dating but I at least know where it’s coming from. Shoot most time it’s just jealousy that they are single and can’t get a man but this white women was able to snatch up this black man. With that being that’s their own personal issue, like you said they need to get over it.
Zeek, date who makes you happy and don’t worry about these other folks are talking out the side of their neck.
SN: My ls did a documentary similar to this topic called Skin Deep: Black Women Venturing Out Documentary
The documentary is about black women dating outside their race it’s pretty interesting. Here’s the link if you want to watch >>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uno4hgL8kgY&feature=channel_video_title
THIS…is a much needed discussion…..
Let me first begin by saying: You are your experiences; or rather what you learn from them….
I speak for a large majority of black women who don’t have anything against interracial relationships. My sister has dated a Korean man for upward 6 years and they genuinely love each other and will more than likely marry in the next year or so. Heck, their relationship has served as a model to many of my friends; not because it’s an interracial relationship, but because it’s one filled with love and mutual respect. They too endure a lot of backlash from both the Asian and Black community because of cultural differences. But that hasn’t kept them from loving each other, just as it shouldn’t keep a black man and white woman from dating, nor a black woman and white man from falling in love…
The issue, I believe, is black women are offended with the reasons BEHIND black men dating white women or any woman from a different race. Quite honestly, if a black man says “this is just who I chose to date/love/marry etc,” MOST black women wouldn’t have a problem with that at all. However, when your reasons are dismissive in nature and range from: “black women aint sh*t, “black women just have too much drama,” to “black women aren’t near as attractive” etc well quite frankly, it’s painful; it’s hurtful because how can the BLACK man not appreciate, love or desire the BLACK woman? If the BLACK man doesn’t even value us, do you knot think that that may alter our perceptions of ourselves? It hurts almost as much as if your own father said you’re ugly and not his little princess. Yes, it’s that serious. So, we feel slighted, bamboozled, hoodwinked even. It raises questions that are deeply psychological in nature and can be linked to the days of racial injustice, brown paper bag tests, and of course slavery in how we were conditioned to hate ourselves and “love” or “covet,” rather, what the slave master had. And THAT is where the resentment towards interracial dating on the behalf of some black women lie.
Do this: look at a series of Hip Hop, R&B music videos and tell me what you see?
I’m sure you either saw one of two things: 1.) A black woman, scantily clad, objectified, yet largely ignored
2.) A woman who is either, Albanian, Latina or white, etc the object of the music video…with a little more clothing on
Now picture this video in the eyes of a black women. What is society saying about black women that they aren’t saying about women of other races? Could it be that black women are only to be desired in a sexual manner and that women of other races are to be desired because of their exoticism? You decide. But please take note that these videos, are the same videos that young girls watch and can develop what their sense of beauty is. And we all know that society and media shapes us, no matter how much one may try to deny it. A conversation that my line sister and I had comes to mind. She said someone in her class (at the real HU) presented: “How can you tell your mixed daughter (who will bear the dominant gene of African descendants and will more than likely look more black than white), she’s beautiful…when her mother, the woman you chose to marry, looks nothing like her? What are you really saying about the beauty of a black woman?” Now I am not saying that all mixed children will have an identity crisis or that a brother or sista is wrong for dating outside of their race. NOT AT ALL. But what I am saying is that, in order to understand why this is so deep for black women, you have to see the parallels in our life as well as society and that this is much more than a “skin deep” issue. It deals with self esteem issues, issues of beauty etc, issues that have existed in our community for years.
Now let me be the first the raise my hand and say that I have said, “negroes aint worth a d*mn, or “I’m going to go date a white man b/c good black men don’t exist.” But that’s because of the men I’ve chosen to date, and the same should be said about black men who’ve “gone over to the other side” because they’ve decided to date a few crazy sistas. And I will admit that at times we, as black women, do find ourselves scratching our heads if we see a nice, successful black brother with a white woman, and might even say, “Welp, there goes another one.” But I assure you, we are not concerned about “how the black community will be affected overall…” We are not “gatekeepers” of the black race and if “racial purity” (whatever the heck that really means since most African Americans have the blood of several races flowing through them) is in fact a concern, it should be a concern for black men and women alike, not just the eerie “burden” that the black women “must bear.”
And nor are we concerned about the impact, “interracial relationships have on low marriage rates in the black community.” It’s not that black men are marrying outside of their race; its more so that there’s a lower percentage of black people marrying ANYONE as a whole, and therefore the marriage rate in the black community is lower. You don’t just marry someone outside your community, and are now no longer a part of that community. What many black women are concerned about is that their loyalty to black men will be for nothing; because unlike black women, black men don’t feel as compelled to stick to one race of woman as black women do. Black women continue to live inside this bubble where they either think they’ll be judged by their community if they do decide to date outside their race or are just scared of the unknown and unfamiliar. And frankly, that bit of loyalty and that the black woman still has to the black man, in this regard, in which we don’t want to go outside the race and “leave the black man,” coupled with our fear, will be our own fault as to why we aren’t happily married with children.
Clearly the causes behind this “phenomenon” are deeper than what meets the eye. So if anything, all of us, black men and black women alike need to evaluate what has lead them into their relationships….whether interracial or not. I’m sure some maybe surprised as to what they uncover about themselves.
GREAT dissection of the topic!
best reply to the discussion.. & really the only LONG one I’ve fully read.
CORRECTION: I’ll say what has been already been said, “I am not against interracial relationships”. I am against Black men having a certain perception of Black women as if we are the least desirable of women. Sometimes I feel, as a Black woman, that we are deemed the last on the totem pole–that we are celebrated for “ain’t no woman like a Black woman”, but don’t want such a woman that LOOKS like a Black woman, that IS a Black woman–as if we’re not good enough, pretty enough, refined enough. I do have a problem with Black men seemingly having a preference for women who may even be of color, but look like their “mixed with something”. I do have a problem with that. …I would be lying if I said the thought of “Why her?” doesn’t come to mind when I see a Black man with a White woman. (Only White, I’m not too much taken aback by Black men with Latina, Asian, or whathaveyou.) I would be lying if I said, “It doesn’t sting a bit.” Jill scott wrote a controversial article (http://www.essence.com/2010/03/26/commentary-jill-scott-talks-interracial/) about this & when she spoke of her spirit wincing I knew EXACTLY what she meant. I don’t know. I guess it’s just a subconscious reaction to a history that is just as much a part of our present experience as it was our past.
I think the title of the article is a bit misleading. I was honestly expecting an article that discussed, or atleast mentioned, many of the plights and pluses encountered when one dates outside his/her race. However, this article only touched on ONE opinion of ONE dilemma encountered by ONE group of people. So, I have taken the liberty of suggesting a new title name:
“What Really Grinds My Gears, Issue No. 91786738624873: The Bitter Black Bittie”
While it is very unfortunate that you have recieved flack from some black women for dating outside of your race, I’m pretty sure this is not an issue singular to black people or one that black women should bear the brunt of. With each sex in every race, there is going to be a group of people who don’t want to see “their” people date outside of “them.” Its just the way it is. It is something you choose to deal with when you make the decision to date freely. It is annoying? Maybe. Should you waste your time contemplating it while there is bigger fish to fry? No.
When I saw the title of the article I was really anxious to read a man’s opinion of what I refer to as the “bigger fish to fry” ie, the awkwardness when you realize that the entire first 2 dates, with someone of another race, the conversation was solely about your difference in race; or how to go about handling an incedent when your date unknowingly says something ignorant and offfensive, or vice versa; or maybe some advice on how to bring your date to meet your not-so-progressive family.
I was dating a white guy and it was a major topic of discussion amongst my family and girlfriends. Not because they expressed disapproval but because it has been an interesting journey. Initially, the guy would make comments (whether offensive or not) and then sometimes follow up with “PLEASE, let me know if I’m being offensive or not politically correct.” There were some occasions where I had to let him know. There were also some times where we didnt see eye to eye on major issues, solely because of our difference in skin color.
A close friend of mine, gave me her insight on what it was like to date a Middle Eastern man and how the difference, in not only race but but religion as well, made for a sometimes difficult road.
My point is, there are so many things that come along with interracial dating. While you are clear on your stance on black women looking in from the outside, you have yet to say anything about interracial dating itself.
Thanks for you comment, but I’m pretty sure the title will stay the same. Though this post is about Interracial Dating….there’s no need for an “interracial dating” break down. Its self-explanatory.I did this from my views and experiences I’ve dealt with. It would be unfair and bias if I tried speaking on other ethnicity’s behalf. Its obvious that im not against it or have an issue with it. This was to get other people involved and express how they feel. Sorry if it wasnt what you expected…
I have very strong feelings about this, but I will try to be as succinct as possible.
Short Version:
I am pro-love but I am against black people sustaining relationships with non-black people for any reason other than love. Love is RARELY the initial factor.
My Two Cents:
1) Amber Rose is black.
2) Black women talk a *lot* about black atheletes/celebrities dating non-black women. A lot. IDK who you’re around to not hear it, but the “bank account” doesn’t curb the criticism.
3) Race DOES matter (in my humble opinion). We (as Americans) are taught that everything black is ugly and as a result, many black people entering interracial relationships is a manifestation of self-hate.
Haven’t you ever heard a black woman saying that she & [insert nonblack male here] “would have some pretty babies with good hair”.
Even though not ALL black women or not ALL black men say things like that that mentality has been ingrained in the majority of us and is a huge part of our culture.
Our culture promotes and embraces the ideologies of folks saying “Beautiful black woman – I bet that bitch look better red”.
We want what looks less black, we find it more appealing, and we want to have beautiful non-black children, and get as far away from identifying with blackness as possible.
That mentality is a disease. Self-hate is killing our communities.
4) I KNOW most black women that criticize aren’t thinking about what I just typed about – and a lot of them are just (very simply) jealous.
However, it digs into the heart of many black women, because many black women are genuinely hurt because it reinforces what they believe about themselves. So many black women already have (again media/culture/society ingrained) issues of self-hate and lack of self-worth. So when they see a black man with someone totally unlike them they are reminded that they believe that are not-worth a good man and unattractive.
I’m not saying that every interracially dating black person believe this about black people or themselves, but I am saying it isn’t uncommon. In fact I would DARE say that it is uncommon for any black person to not feel that way/have ever felt that way to some small extent.
5) Love conquers all. I strongly believe that. However I also well know that what one finds attractive in a mate is socialized. I want everyone to question why they are attracted to who they are attracted to. What does it say about the way you see yourself or the way you see the world and the way you see your people?
It goes further than “just who I want to be with”.
Nothing is quite so simple.
As strongly as I personally disagree with most of this article, despite my own family and background, I don’t ever think it’s my place to question or criticize anyone’s life, situation, circumstance, relationships, or affairs. I don’t know their life or mindframe.
I understand and have seen both sides and think it’s unfair to only look from one angle.
If we work together we can heal the bitterness, and bring understand and acceptance to some degree.
As a reader, I appreciate your objective perspective. Thanks!
np =]
love sees no color. simple.
although i’ve always said i’m absolutely not marrying anything other than a black man. it’s something sexy about a ‘strong black man.’
there’s something more sexy though about ANY man, regardless of color who treats their lady right. & vice versa.
the only thing certain is that there is an attraction between man and women. not black and black, asian and asian, etc.
i do wonder why though black men get a lot more hate for dating white women more than a black women does for dating anything other than a black man.
that aint right.
I think the answer to your wondering can be found in EDB’s comment above.
Thanks! It was a great post.
one more thing…
sooner or later, it will be obvious why you fell in love with the person you did. hope its for the right reason. you can only hide your shallowness for but so long.
nice post.
AMBER ROSE IS NOT BLACK. She’s Cape Verdean, Italian, Irish
Cape Verde is a group of islands located off the coast of West Africa. It’s interesting to note that most of the population (about 71%) of Cape Verde is a mix of Sub-Saharan Africans and Europeans usually from Portugal and Spain.
Cape Verdean is black.
VERY similar to the genetic make up of most Brasilians and Guyanese folks
Cape Verdeans who disagree make me chuckle.
Same as Dominicans who disagree.
I wish I would tell somebody “I’m not black – I’m Cuban”.
No.
I am spanish speaking black person
Exactly.
@HJayBee The fact that you stated that Amber Rose is black just discredited your entire statement or whatever you attempted to convey. She is 100% white. Just because she may be accepted in black culture doesn’t change her pigmentation or origin.
Hannah you win! I give up lol
question, can a white woman raise a black woman into this world?
@commenturry – Can you expound on that?? Im not following exactly what you are asking.
@Soze
She’s not 100% white.
If Half of her heritage is of Africa, how can you deny her blackness?
I don’t keep up enough with that lady (or pop culture at all). so maybe I’m wrong about her being Cape Verdean – but I do know what/where Cape Verde is.
And as I just said Cape Verdeans/Dominicans/Hondurans..black folks from other countries often struggle with identity in America but are all black to me.
Nationality/country of origin are irrelevant to RACE. Which is whole seperate conversation.
Furthermore, it’s a shame that my being incorrect (according to you) in one point renders everything else invalid. Especially about some chick I dont know. The rest is sociologically based. Don’t believe me: read about it. Look up Black Psychology and Black Sociology in America – it’s real life.
@HjayBee – African doesn’t mean black. As I’m
Sure you’re aware that most of South Africans are white but in your eyes are they black too because they derive from Africa? That makes absolutely no sense. Not all Cape Verdians are black either.
And she doesn’t even consider herself African American
@Soze *sigh* I know not all who reside in Africa are of the Negroid race.
Though the majority of Cape Verdeans are.
Again – to compare to DR (with nearly idenitical demographics)
DR is 88% Black Though about 40% of them identify themselves as black and deny negroid/slave backgrounds.
Cape Verde was indeed taken over by Portugal, which has shifted their demographics from entirely negroid, and over time folks have developed a seperate sense of identity there.
That doesn’t make them less black.
As I said earlier – I, personally would never say “I’m not black – I’m Cuban”. Whatever old Spaniard blood is irrelevant to my life. I’m black.
IMO it doesn’t matter that she doesn’t consider herself to be African-American
1) Most Cape-Verdians / Most black immigrants *period* don’t consider themselves African American, as there is a seperate connotation and culture with that term and identity
(my family is ideologically different in that respect, as I was raised to consider myself American)
2) it’s not relevant to the conversation of black men and women dating. it seems as though enough people recognize her blackness enough for it to not be criticized. which is why i said that …
3) what you are branching into is a totally different topic of society & identity, black psychology/sociology in America, and black idenity outside of America. I will gladly refer you to some great books on those things, but it’s irrelevant to this conversation.
I’m actually not branching into that at all, I am aware of the psychological discrepancy within the black community and their identity. I was speaking solely on your false comment that Amber Rose was black which was your #1 statement before you expounded on anything further. That is all.
I remember I was in Winston with an African American girl at ihop when three black men each walk in with white girls. As soon as she saw that she said “that shit makes me sick, why they gotta be with white hoes”. But that same girl just went on two dates with a white guy the month before. So when I stated that she got all upset like it was different. But I have no problem with interracial dating. I never will.
Gotcha.
Well the other points were unrelated but
Amber Rose, Zoe Saldana, Paula Patton and Rosario Dawson… all black to me. *shrugs*
i mean … society has made a complete 360 a lot of things that were looked down upon before are no longer that way…..therefore, nobody should have a problem with who another decides to date…if ppl can fight for gay rights and marriages then why do u care if a person branches outside their race….{u may not find those two to be similar but in my mind its the same issue}
..everyday on twitter a blk female is talkin bout how they r done with blk men and they bout to go date a white guy….when stacy dash did it on “single ladies” every female was ready to follow suit…but its a shock and offensive when the blk man wants to agree with u and go date a white girl too…yeah that’s pretty lame…..
but as mentioned somewhere further up…this issue is one that every race faces….however the writer is blk so can only spk on what he knows…#respect..
as for me … i have great appreciation for the blk man…they may get on my nerves but thats what i see fit for myself..so i’m good on everything else…but who knows we all say what we want but at the end of the day we don’t have full control on what we get…can’t question fate…
do u and eff what the other thinks cuz everybody is gonna judge but only one judgement really matters…
Once you become educated and cultured, you have a taste for a woman w/ like interest.
White women know how to treat you. End of story.
this is a disorganized inappropriate generalization, smh…
There is nothing wrong with interacial dating and I feel like majority of black women only get upset when a young successful black male dates another race because now adays there are so many black men homo, in jail, and uneducated it makes it hard for a sista to see a successful black man with another race. Especially when black women/minorities women have increased in the number of educated sisters and business owners it makes it difficult to see the only few brothers out here in a relationship with someone else since there are very few men on there level. However I do feel that society accepts interracial dating much more
First off let me start by saying lol to the “soft-toe Reeboks” quote.
Second..In a world where there’s so many different cultures, backgrounds, why should we only date our own race? The world is filled with beautiful people who all think in different ways have different religions, etc. Are we really just going to date our own kind..Sorry but that’s BORING! We finally are in a century where the sky is pretty much the limit. I believe to have a connection with another race is actually a great thing, and special. I think it is vain for us black women to think black men should only date us. We only have one life to live. Why live it inside of a box. Love who you want no matter what! End of story!……personally I would never date outside my race though.
As a Black woman, interracial dating does not bother me…it’s the thought process behind the preference that gets to me. Like, old dude who said “white women know how to treat you” and all these things about wanting someone on your level when you’ve elevated in your own life…do Black women not fit that criteria? You mean to tell me NO Black woman can make an educated, hard working Black man feel loved and appreciated? Not even the one who raised YOU?! Oh. I think I speak for lots of Black women when I say, that’s completely false and what’s more…it’s ignorant.
Love has no color but when Black men are at a place where they’ll accept women who really aren’t on some next level strictly because they’re a different race….that is a psychological problem that’s deeper than just “i date who I like”…I’m always looking to dig deeper into issues…get down to the “why”…because just about 5 years ago there was not a heavy presence of black men dating women outside of their race as its become more of the “it” thing to do there are all of a sudden all of these black men who feel “underappreciated” by Black women. As Black men continue to make excuses for why women of other races are more diserable, Black women are moving up in polls with more degrees, higher paying jobs and a desire to settle down and make a man feel like a King…the problem is our Kings don’t want to step up to the plate in a real way…so they’re cool with taking the easy way out.
I have a few white female friends and I have seen their interactions with Black men whom they date and I will say…they are much easier to please. The standards they often have are lower because they’re not concerned with seeing these men be the best they can be…they’re just happy a Black man is looking their way. So they don’t encourage them to do more and work harder. They don’t demand communication and honesty…they allow them to do whatever they want. I guess that’s interpreted as “knowing how to treat” them. These women also have no desire to understand the culture they’re putting themselves in…I even had one of them say “I don’t want my kids to look African”…but the man she’s dating is Nigerian so is his beautiful mother, brothers and father. There’s no love or consideration for who these men really are…it’s almost like wearing the newest bag for them.
But, this conversation is happening everyday between Black women and honestly it’s come to a point where I simply feel if you PREFER another race of woman over your own (which Black men seem to have the capital on this…note that I say preference…not action…preference)…you should look deep into that and figure out honestly what made you feel that way. Images are deceptive. and i think our men have become deceived into believing that these women represent some sort of reward. At the end of the day, I take peace in knowing that a Black man who would think a white woman can treat a black man better than a Black woman can would never be the man for me…so I don’t see it as a loss. He’s with who he deserves and prefers and I’m not interested in appeasing him.
I can see where your coming from with this. Most people dont know it but I have never dated a black man before. Not because i am not interested it just seems like all I attract are other races so I have a lot of ex perience in the interracial dating area, the pros and the cons. Bottom line is you like who you like. Its no one elses business anyway.
ppl tend to have this misconception that blk women are the only ones who have no filter and aren’t submissive to their man…and that tends to be the reason why MOST men prefer not to talk to a blk woman…
only reason ANYBODY would assume that a white woman is better is b/c they have been portrayed in the media as easy going, ready to do whatever the hell a man wants them to do…thats not necessarily the case..white chicks are just a fiesty…
blk women know how to treat their man….we know how to cater to our significant other when need be…but it isn’t something that needs to always be done…we’ve been catering to white ppl for years…cooking, cleaning, being a caregiver etc etc etc….the white woman just started..
BUT on another note…your comments are unrelated…education and culture has nothing to do with white women knowing how to treat somebody.
I think it’s hilarious that a “cultered and educated” person such as Matter Fact would make such an ignorant statement. Being both very well cultured and very well educated myself, I am a product of interracial relationships , yet I identify with being a black woman. I grew up in a predominantly white area, so I myself date white and other non-black men more frequently. As stated in another post, I have no gripes with any interracial relationship that is based on emotion. It is when a superficial generalization such as “white women know how to treat you” or “black women are angry” that I become enraged, as should the woman of racial preference, because she is not being chosen for who she is, rather a stereotype of what one thinks she is. When you break down your reasons for dating someone based on anything other than how you feel, it’s superficial and it’s a reflection of self. Don’t mistake your own poor choices for what a group of people is or is not.
So black women can’t have like interest?? We can’t be educated and cultured along with you?? White is the only race of women that knows how to treat you?? What kind of black women have you dated and what are you basing this “white women know how to treat you” comment on? Are you referring to the fact that white women are more “submissive” than black women?
It’s so annoying to hear black women diss black men who date white women. One of my best friends is white and she’s obnly dated black guys, because it’s what she is attracted to. It’s funny though, because I always receive backlash from “friends” and randoms on the street whenever I’m out with a white guy. So it’s not just black females who display some sort of hate when they see someone who is black with someone who is white.
Well I am Japanese and West Indian. I’ve never had to explain the race I prefer. I love African-American men, yet I am attracted to all races and I know that there is a (small) chance that I could fall in love with a man outside of the African American race. I have heard plenty of African-American females say things such as, “I cant stand those white girls or exotic girls taking OUR black men.” or “He puts shame to our African-American race by dating that girl.” As if black people are forbidden to love outside of the color black. They say these things as if these men are betraying their race. I am disgusted with this close-minded theory of only dating within your ethnic group. The sad part is, and I may be wrong, it is less likely to hear a group of men bash a female for being with a man outside of their race then it is for a group of females bashing a mam for the same reasons. Females do the most judging yet hate to be judged themselves. I say, what one prefers is what one prefers, simple as that. Who is to tell one how they should live their life? Or what race should or should not attract them? This goes for all races, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, etc. I’ve been exposed to so many diverse couples and the only thing I see is beauty, I never judge a persons preference. Change is beautiful. Diversity is beautiful.
Best thing said yet.. “I’ll say what has been already been said, “I am not against interracial relationships”. I am against Black men having a certain perception of Black women as if we are the least desirable of women” … missroyal_truss July 11, 2011
It’s disheartening … A lot of great points made here. But all black women are not “mad” it’s tiring and annoying to keep hearing we are mad black women, so were not considered. I think this is the main reason that makes Black women frustrated with this issue… The fact the someone can express that ” white women know how to treat a man .. End of story ” really? Women are all the damn same at the end of the day. We are not that bad .. Do we have high expectations ? yes… But please believed I’ve learned much from my mother on how to treat a man and my father as well.( still learning ) But to even utter that black women dont know how to treat a Black man makes me sick… Like grow up! This is a POOR excuse to date outside your race… And looks extremely dumb as a preference. It’s one thing to date outside your race bc of interest or bc there’s a general connection … But to put black women down is ridiculous…
Intersting post. When I get my complete thoughts together i’ll probably leave another comment. But I will leave two things for now. 1) I was raised in the Nation [Islam] and have seen the looks from both women and men when someone is dating outside their race. It is deathly! I, however, am a firm believer in interracial dating when there are no stupid reasons where a male or female blames the ENTIRE race of their counterparts for hurting them or categorizing all black men or women as “loud and ghetto” etc. I also have to disagree with the statement:
“If I were a professional athlete I don’t think I would hear a word from the critics. There are numerous celebs that are in interracial relationships. Do you hear anything about that….I’ll wait….yeah didn’t think so! Nowhere in the tabloids do you here about Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose being slandered because of their “interracial” relationship. Just because someone has a nice bank account that shuts the haters up, but for an ordinary guy like myself I gotta hear that bullshit? True.”
This is completely untrue. If anything, athletes (or any other high profiled African American) get the most criticism. Wiz…maybe not so much. Most black people think that because you’re black and have made it, you should only do things to help and uplift the black community. My views on that however are for another time.
As I read through this article, I kept wondering when the topic of “Jungle Fever” would actually be expounded upon. Instead, the author took this opportunity to tell us about his personal gripes and even went so far as to label us with the all so cliché title of “Mad Black Woman”. (“I’m tired of the mad black woman antics. Get over it!!”) Really??? Yes, I understand that YOUR relationship has probably received most of its verbal criticism and side-eyes from black women, BUT, do you really feel that we are the only ones that may disapprove or question it. Not at all. Just take a look back through history. Until 44 years ago, interracial marriage was very much illegal. Do you think it was black women who made those laws? I think the main reason why the major part of your criticism comes from black women, is because that’s who you have daily encounters with as a result of living in Atlanta and being a product of an HBCU. If you lived in a rural area where you were outnumbered by whites, your experiences would be totally different.
I honestly chalked this post up to just another article bashing black women. Personally, I am tired of having to defend (especially to black men) that I am not a gold digger, angry, or bitter. Black women battle everyday against these stereotypes from other races, it would be nice if black men would be our defenders instead of joining in with the majority.
i am a black woman and i find nothing wrong with interracial dating. when people ask me what i prefer i tell them “men”. i often find myself attracted to men of other races. maybe its because i live in a very diverse city and the people here are more open to intermixing, or maybe its just because the things i like in a man have nothing to do with skin color, idk. the thing that bothers me is that many black men (and women) date outside of their race for the wrong reasons. i’ve heard many of them say they don’t want to “deal” with black women and their attitudes or the black women stereotype black men so they don’t date them. now that’s just wrong.
i think the problem with Black Americans is that we embrace aggression and conflict and aren’t really in tune with who we are and where we come from. there are deep rooted issues involved that make us want to hold on as tight as we can to the little bit of culture and community we do have. and a black woman that prefers black men getting upset at seeing a white woman arm and arm with a man she would have liked to date is a personal thing. she may not have had success with the men she’s dated. but that anger she has about the situation is unattractive and she doesn’t understand that. in today’s society black women are thriving in the professional world and sometimes feel like there are a limited amount of black men to choose from that are progressing at the same pace. many times its just easier to date within your race because there are things that are already understood about each other. but when we limit ourselves we might miss out on great relationships and even just great friends.
i don’t know, we could go on for days about racial issues because they may always exist, i just stay around people who love me for me.
@Mosley – Im sorry that you feel that way…well not really!Thats why I wrote this post from MY p.o.v. Im not bashing black women at all. I havent disrespected you in anyway shape or form. Im not shocked that you wrote a comment like that anyways cuz you turned your nose up to my girl being white anyways….not that I give a shit, but all the hate is coming from your way. Stop acting like a “Mad Black Womean.”
and i agree with mosley. blacks are not the only ones that disapprove of interracial dating. and black men need to get over the whole “angry black woman” stereotype. its old and dusty and we need to move forward as a people.
Im not stereotyping black women as “angry black women.” Thats where I’ve taken heat from so thats why i used that term. Im sorry if I have offended you.
WAIT WHAT????? I turned my nose up at your girlfriend??? Ive never even met her. I
do remember coming to your home looking at her pictures and saying “you make a nice couple…invite me to the wedding” this was NOT a sarcastic remark in any sense. I was being genuine because you honestly looked happy to be with her. Who am I to judge? I will admit I was surprised to find out that she was white. But surprised does not equate to hate or jealousy. the whole interracial thing does not bother or offend me in the least bit. I have women in my immediate family that have married white men and have no issue with it. So for you to say I “tunred my nose up at her” when I have not even met her is totally false. I dont believe you…YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE.
And to call me a hater when you heard me say NOTHING negative about her is uncalled for. You’re in fact sound angry sir. NOT ME!
I personally don’t have an issue with interracial dating, you go where your heart leads you and pray for the best. As a BLACK woman I am troubled by the thought that I would be generalized and blamed for your WANT to date outside of your race.
As a writer, or whatever it is that you’re claiming to be, it is important to engage and seek more from your readers. How can you be open for a discussing when you are readily casting stones at the individuals that do not agree with you? Even in your responses (the ones I’ve read) you seem to only address the negative in the post instead of using that as a platform to gain more clarification and perhaps a personal understanding you may not have sought before. All in all I agree with a few of the readers who although understand your ideals regarding your PERSONAL experience dating outside of your race, but I would have liked to see you expound on the bigger picture in regards to interracial dating.
Im far from angry…NOT I @Mosley…not tryna cause any beef. Glad your opinionated tho! Stay tuned for Part 2….you’ll see angry. Not on my behalf tho!
lol. Just like we are free to have are opinions so are they. But the funny thing to me is that alot of you people commenting are hypocrites. Can you all just look at the post for what it is. Its talking about someones experience not speaking on the whole issue.
These topics can go for days because we tend to generalize which leaves openings for ridiculous comments. “Im not like that so what do u mean!” in my annoying black woman voice. I mean its cool in all but it gets annoying. Im sure almost every chick that commented has made some type of comment about white women taking good black men. I keep seeing it in all the main posts about relationships. They believe they are the exception to the rule and will word a response and nit pick an article instead of just taking the article as it is.
I actually participated in this debate yesterday with several of my co-workers. I have a co-worker who ONLY dates white/a slight shade of brown females because black females are out here, and I quote “Looking for a father figure while perpetuating being the strong independent female that raised them”. Hes in a sense blamed my female African American co-worker and others like her for not being able to be “submissive”. When he used the term submissive he made the point of not expecting his significant other of being less of a human or individual, but allowing him to be a man and have final say. The interesting part was my female co-worker AGREED that she can’t be submissive. She said “submission” is a 60s term and refuses to do it. She truly believes a small number of men are really out here looking for a submissive woman and that men really want someone who can support their selves. Two very opposite views with strong points. Great blog by the way
To shake a few things up a bit…..I spoke to a white female that lives in my building and I asked her about interracial dating and how she felt about it. Shes from a part in Kansas which she said its frowned upon, but she didnt give a damn because black guys are the only race shes ever dated. Very interesting to me. This she brought up another point about place of employment. She basically said that strong educated black men(for example: doctors, lawyers, etc) go for white women because its more of them in those fields then it is black women. So, those black men are around those white women more often and end up building relationships with them because thats who they’re spending majority of their time with. I thought that was interesting….
first off…zeke that lady doesn’t know what the hell she’s talkin bout…..maybe there’s more white nurses….but come on man…i go to a blk dental school…and there are plenty more…i see a plethora of blk doctors male and female on a regular basis..
anywho….
i honestly think the problem just arises that the male expects way to much nowadays without giving an equal amount in return. i think at this point it balls down to viewing what a relationship really is and understanding that it is totally different now then it was 40+ yrs ago. roles have reversed in some households.
blk women are no longer in the position to HAVE to be completely submissive to their man b/c we are truly seeing ourselves as being able to walk beside our mate rather than behind them. we can bring just as much to the household as our man should. things are more equal now or at least should be than they ever have been. so why can’t we both submit to each other.
why should my dude ALWAYS have to have the last word? the dude isn’t always right and if my income is helping to support the family just as much then we should have equal say. i mean but i have a problem with authority and i’ll be the first to admit that but thats not b/c i’m blk…lol
there is way too much ego and pride b/w both the blk male and female. more finger pointing and less compromise.
After reading all these post from different thought patterns and walks of life i must say the comments are interesting to say the least. Everyone is allowed their own opinion but the key to this conversation is to learn and grow.
the article that missroyal_truss posted from Jill Scott (which im sure few read due to the lack of reiteration of the article) was a good bases for where the separation of the black culture from the rest of the United States as well as the cultivation of “Black Love” formed. The idea that black men should only date black women because they are our “Black Queens” is outlandish, what about our White Queens! (I wonder how many winced when they read that). You must understand that we are programmed as we are raised from what we see from the people around us, what we comprehend on tv, and the mental self image that we form for ourselves.
I was raised only to love black women and my parents would never wanted me to bring a white women into their house, i agree with the first part of @Matter fact’s comment “Once you become educated and cultured, you have a taste for a woman w/ like interest.” with cultured be the most important word, has nothing to do with race.
Me growing more cultured as i get older and having no problem with interactical dating but if you would have caught me 5 years ago it would have been a different story…
Sidenote to @chris and @hjaybee: Race is more than a color, and infact a psychological belief as much as it is a physical standard, @chris the white people in South Africa my not be considered “black” but they are still considered African…
@shana the beginning of you last statement makes no sense, if you go to a black dental school i would assume you see more black doctors, thats like saying i go to a HBCU and i see plenty of black engineers…
i just looked at the stats posted by American Dental Association and 33.7 percent of dental students where of a nonwhite population, and of that 33.7 percent 67.1 percent were Asian…that would Asian and strong 22.6 percent of the entire dental pop. leaving African Americans at id say a strong 7 percent…
@Johnny – that was actually the point that I was making to Hannah
My issue is the continued generalizations of characteristics and attitudes.
All Black women aren’t one thing
All White women aren’t one thing
All those who date interracially aren’t one thing.
Everyone has a different experience and mindset
@Zeke that white lady was talking out her ass.
Interesting standpoint I guess.
But I find it interesting that she’s open to it. Is her family?
How would she consider things when it came down to marriage?
I know a lot of black people to date non-black people… but end up marrying another black person
@jonny @soze I know it’s more than just a color
but I’ve been referring to the cultural aspects of race/identity
Don’t know if this is relevant
Idk if I said this before – but I have dated white girls.
She(the most significant one) wasn’t more cultured or intelligent than me or the other options…and it definitely wasn’t love. Just happened that way.
Most of our issues came from being gay in the south vs. dating interracially though
or so it seemed at the time.
don’t see myself doing it again though.
@HJayBee – One of the white chicks fam didnt care and was open to it. The other one said her fam wouldnt approve. One of them boyfriend is black and is a Spinal Surgeon.
Men in 2011 are looking for Submissive women? Maybe… but dont think for one second 90% of these brothers out here dating white women, would Raise they voice, curse, slander, argue with ..what ever you want to call with a WHITE GIRLFRIEND, like they would with a Black Girlfriend. NO WAY im not Buying it. So maybe its the black men being more Docile with these white women because at the end of the day NIGGA YOU BLACK IN WHITE AMERICA, AND YOUR ASS WILL ROTT IN JAIL IF SHE SNITCHES!or if someone in public even witnesses this altercation.. #noEmmittTill #noOJ
I believe there is a difference between defending your preference and bashing what you don’t like. If being open to dating outside of your race is your preference, there is no need to defend it nor do you have to highlight what you DON’T like about someone else’s race. I prefer strawberry icecream. I don’t need to yell at the vanilla icecream in the grocery store about it’s lack of color and flavor lol. Most of the conversations about interracial dating are accommodated by generalizations and outlandish and unprecedent character judgements of others. The conversations usually include ignorant phrases like “good hair” and “angry black woman”. In turn, this is how some black women may take offense to black men dating outside of their race. If you like what you like, fine, but don’t justify your preference at my expense by claiming your reason is because black women are too ____(you fill in the blank)____…. There are many white men who LOVE black women. They’re not CONSTANTLY on the cover of magazines or on websites ranting about white women being less than equal to black women.
The history of society shows that black women are already ranked as being at the bottom of the totem pole (white men, white women, black men, black women). It is hard enough to fight the whole world and prove you’re bigger and better than being the house Mammy…to have your own men put you on blast and tell the world what you “AIN’T” adds insult to injury. Think Bill Cosby and the Black Community conversation- he made good points, but damn Bill, you had to embarass us in front of EVERYBODY??? It’s never the point, but HOW it is given…(men in relationships just think about how many times your woman says “It’s not what you said, but HOW you said it” lol)
Notice I said SOME women. I will agree that other women just hate to see a black man with a woman of another race. Those women need not focus on who someone else is dating, and work on personal issues; however, most black women just don’t appreciate the constant negativity being thrown at us. Essentially, we give YOU life and birth YOUR strong black warriors…if you like/wanna try the other side of the grass, cool, but don’t spit on my grass either. I am happy to say I have dated outside of my race, and during that time, I felt no need to talk about black men in a negative way to justify my social life at the time- my Daddy, three brothers, and eight uncles are black…and today so is my fiancee and son…
The comments this blog received is very thought provoking and I see the various points that are made. So now I’m ready to put in my two cents.
Interracial dating in my eyes is a beautiful thing. To me, it shows that two individuals have taken it upon themselves to blur color lines in the name of love. I personally am a product of an interracial relationship. My mother is black and my father is Puerto Rican. Physically, I’m pretty ambiguous when it comes to my race. I can easily pass for both.
Now when it came to dating, I’ve been told the only way I’d be considered to be dating interracially is if i were to be dating someone white because I cover two races. My thing is no matter who I’m dating, I’m going to get judged. If I were to date a black man, some black women would judge me because I’m light skinned and probably stereotype me to be the “typical light skinned girl”. If I were to date someone white or anything else, I’d be getting judged for dating “outside my races”. So regardless, I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
I hate when some of my black females friends bash black men for dating outside their race. I highly doubt race was a big determining factor when deciding to date these women. People can’t help who they fall for but I’m pretty sure, whether you’re white, black, hispanic, etc, it hurts to know that you’re being discredited by your race for trying to find happiness.
From what I’ve read so far, the only race that has mention about bashing interracial dating is the black community. But I can show you hispanic families, asian families, and white families that all feel the same way. And to me it’s shameful on all ends of the spectrum.
And let’s not forget the “bitter” black men who hate seeing black females dating outside their races. That’s a subject that isn’t really touched often.
I personally would recommend dating other races just to open you’re horizons and see what else is out there. The same people who complain about being lonely and single, are the same ones who refuse to try something new. Who knows, Mr/Mrs. Right might be on the other side of the color spectrum..
Celebrities get slandered too c/o gossip sites like Bossip that have categories like “In Swirl News” etc. Sad… Personally, I think its refreshing to see someone from an HBCU dating outside their race because it shows progress and an open mind. Just sayin…
Catching up on this blog and I Love EDB’s synopsis for my own biased reasoning and because of the scope it delves into as well. Nice! I’m so late on the blog posts as a whole, and just catching up. Refreshing reads I must say. much love all!
Lynn