Background Check!

Background Check

What does a man REALLY want in a woman? What is it that will differentiate Mrs. Right Now from Mrs. Right? These are questions that women often ponder, bicker about, and some even just out right ask. Honestly, the answer isn’t as intricate as one may think. Men are pretty simple human beings that really don’t ask for or need much. However, there are certain codes and guidelines that have to be in order for a man to take the next step of a relationship with a female. What many may not know is that before a man even considers a female being his girlfriend or letting his feelings reach a certain point he must conduct the “Background Check”

Yes, you read that right… a background check. No you’re not applying for a job with the CIA or federal government but yes, men do take this background check just as seriously as those jobs listed above. It’s not about how many, but who. Not about when but why? Now before you get all irate and say you guys are just hypocritical mammals blah blah blah. Hold that thought and think back to a popular moment in recent history on a channel called VH1 where a familiar incident named “SHE SMASHED THE HOMIES” personified everything a man DOES NOT WANT TO HAPPEN to someone he is taking serious. With that being said, I think you understand why background checks are done. Below is a brief (can’t give all the details away) description of how a successful background check is conducted, criteria, and how to pass. Ladies, if you fail, it’s ok. On to the next one I guess… no pun intended of course.

To make this fun, lets look at it like you’re applying for a job. The background check consists of the following:

The Cover Letter

• An overall snapshot of who this female is. A look at the qualities that made her a candidate to become your Girlfriend. All the positive attributes that attracted you in the first place are shown here. (She can cook, loyal, Educated, God Fearing, etc.. )

The Resume (Past Relationships)

• What other jobs has she held. Past relationships are described here. Start and End date. Include reason for Leaving as well. Has she been out of work (relationship) for a long time?
• Beware of these candidates they may not be ready to re-enter the workplace (bitter women). If you are the first guy she has ever taken serious don’t believe you are that special, she probably got around before you.

References (The Home Girls)

• This is a critical step in the process. Ever heard the phrase “birds of a feather flock together?” yeah, we have too so pay attention to the female’s closest group of friends. If she is in the Club four nights a week, going to all Industry parties, if her friends are Lucy Goosy, Sloppy Sally, and Backseat Brandy, then good chances are she’s not too far behind.

Executive Board Voting (The HOMIES)

• This is the last step. The Executive Board gets the last vote on whether the candidate is truly worthy. She may have passed all the test, but this one is by far the most important (revisit the 2nd paragraph about why).

The board Duties:

1. Review the candidates’ application and make sure there are no Discrepancies (Lying on her App).
2.  After everything comes back as factual the board huddles and asked one question “Did you sleep with this chick?” only when a Unanimous Vote of NO is collected can the Man offer this woman the Position of being his girl.

Now you have more of an insight about what men really want. I’m sure the women have a very similar process for the guys they consider potentials as well.  Until next time and remember, “Don’t smash the homies.”

 - Packians