Man Law: Top 20 Things Men Should Never Do… EVER
As a grown man, there are certain things that- well, now that you iron your own clothes and make your own bed- any grown man should know just are NOT socially acceptable in this world… or the realm of reality, period. We, as men, like to call these things Violations against Man Law.
Below I have listed the Top 20 Violations against Man Law (no particular order), and if you have ever committed any of these heinous acts, you my friend are guilty of having your manhood called into question, and are hereby sentenced to: watching a minimum of 20 hours of ESPN, or any sporting event (this does not include chess, swimming, or badminton), your “ManCard” shall be suspended for the remainder of the year, and you shall be referred to as a woman until further notice. While these may be facetious, they are to be taken with the utmost seriousness. Check’em out…
Top 20 Violations against Man Law
thou shalt not…
- Admit to watching any movie on the Lifetime channel.
- Coin his own nickname.
- Share an umbrella with another male.
- Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
- Show fear in front of a dog or small child.
- Call “shotgun” before getting in a car.
- Dispute someone else’s call of “shotgun.”
- Request extra sprinkles.
- Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
- Stop and ask for directions when a woman is in the car.
- Name his penis his name plus junior.
- When texting another male:
- put a smiley or winky face.
- agree and reply to a text with “k.”
- use the acronym OMG.
- Dance directly in front of another male.
- Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
- Hug amusement-park characters.
- Skip, prance, or hippety-hop.
- Know the complete lyrics to a Lady Gaga song.
- Say “two points” every time he throws something in the trash.
- Bend over and pick up a personal item with all back….knee bends are required.
- Talk to people using a Godfather or Scarface accent.
Honorable Mentions:
- Blow bubbles with bubble gum.
- Wear Disney-themed neckties.
- Wake up to cartoons.
- Choose 69 as his jersey number.
- Volunteer to be a magician’s assistant.
- Whine.
- Refer to oneself as a “playa.”
- Squeal when a bee or small bug is around.
Feel free to leave any additional Violations against Man Law in the comment section.
-Locka
Getting extra sprinkles? why are you getting sprinkles at all?
Yoooooo!
- i call shotgun when i dont want to sit in the back of a small car.. damn
- ill argue an improper shotgun call lol
- and i may refer to myself as a playa … “why u got to do that to a playa”
i say all this to say…. so i got about 18 days of being called a woman huh? hahaha
good stuff
- Drink liquor with a straw.
- When questioned by another mans girlfriend, the answer is always “I don’t know”
- Never look at another man while using the restroom.
THOU SHALT NOT…
-DOUBLE DIP.
-CONVERSE WITH A KNOWN “TEAM” SKANK.
-”BORROW” WITH INTENTIONS 2 KEEP.
-SUGGEST A ROAD TRIP W/O OFFERING COMPENSATION. (PAUSE)
-FIST BUMP WITH EXPLOSION.
-GIVE ANOTHER FELLA A GIFT UNLESS IT BE FOR BORN DAY FESTIVITIES (STIPULATIONS APPLY).
-LEAVE A RESTROOM W/O PROPERLY WASHING HANDS.