Friends with Benefits
I’m sure some of you have seen the recent movie Friends with Benefits. I haven’t and there isn’t a need to. It was probably the perfect depiction of boy meets girl where boy and girl decide they’re just not ready for commitment and decide to just have sex; by the end of the movie boy and girl realize that they just can’t live without each other and live happily ever after. Am I close?
THESE MOVIES AREN’T REAL LIFE and they’re a leading cause of women having hope for situations that were never meant to end in a relationship. Because of this movie, there were probably hundreds that continued to stay in their current situation waiting for the guy to realize that he can’t live without them. I hope you’re not holding your breath. So let’s break this thing down.
The Original Agreement:
- there is no commitment
- we just have sex. When we hit each others phone, you already know what it is.
- We’re cool, but don’t bring attention to the situation in public.
- We don’t go on dates
- We don’t have to entertain questions such as “where are you? Who are you with? Who is she/he? “
Sound a bit harsh? Then having a friend with benefits isn’t for you.
Where men go wrong
You enter into this situation with a female that you mildy like. You’re not ready to commit to her but you actually don’t mind spending extra time with her. Later you figure out she’s pretty cool to talk to and you start opening up to her. You tell her about your past, current plans, future goals. She’s falling already. Then you begin to text her all day. Now she’s got gps on you and can pretty much locate you at all times. You’ve put her onto your favorite music, she’s seen your baby picture from 89 and you EVEN agree to go grab some food at a popular restaurant in town. BLEW IT. You have just opened the door with the big word HOPE on it and allowed her to walk right in. Congratulations.
Where women go wrong
Simply by agreeing to be in these situations. 9 out of 10 women can’t handle strictly being friends with benefits. Women naturally want attention, to feel important and all the rest of that mess. Not to say you don’t deserve it, but every man isn’t equipped or desires to give it to you. There are a lot of reasons women fall into the friend with benefits stage.
- the relationship didn’t work out as planned but you stay around for the sex.
- Hurt by your previous relationship so you think you’ll just have sex until youre ready to trust again
- You like a guy but you know he’s not ready for a relationship, but you think he’ll eventually change his mind.
All of these reasons are setting yourself up for failure. Stop it, because when the guy adheres to the guideslines ( isn’t hitting you up consistently, wants you to come over late at night, never wants to go out in public ) you automatically write him off as an asshole when he is simply living up to the terms of the agreement. Now there are those females that can actually handle sex with no strings attached, but they are a rare breed.
When a man says he just wants sex with no relationship, he just wants sex!!!! When a woman says she just wants sex, she just wants sex but eventually she’s going to want more!!!
Just realize what you are signing up for before you get in it and remember, “Expectations = Disappointments”. The success rate for friends with benefits is low, but who’s really more at fault for the failure??